the rebirth.
”Indeed, the things you most desire may be yours in your rebirth.
It was a hard beginning, but it was a rebirth to a new life.
Rebirth in the flesh he offered as a substitute for heaven and hell.”
the awakening. renewal. atonement. purification. metamorphosis. transfiguration.
the waking up.
part 1 of 3 of liz. we discussed this shoot for what felt like ages but at the same time not long enough. a lot of prep, planning, timing, thought, tears + soul went into this (and wolf training… but that’s for parts 2 + 3). it’s interesting when you meet people - i’ve been told I have the gift of discernment. part of my job is to observe. to read others. when I met liz years + years back, I knew this girl had something to her. soul. energy. life. but I saw into her eyes + knew “she’s seen some shit.” it’s funny in a way : I gravitate towards that ‘kind of people.’ the ones I find most interesting are generally the ones that have a story of some sort. that have been through it. but have somehow, some way, emerged out beautifully. liz was no exception to that rule. I remember sitting down and having dinner with her and immediately feeling the need to share every thing with her. I needed to unload + spill + cry + let it all out because I immediately knew that she understood. that she got it and wouldn't look at me sideways for what I had to say next + get out of my body + mind.
we met a few months back and discussed what she was wanting to capture. a final shoot before she departed for a great adventure, a life to live and love and begin again in Australia. a starting over. no, she’s not running -- she’s freaking l i v i n g + I applaud her so much for this decision (and have promised to join her on a trek somewhere in the Aussie when the time is right. or forget it; time is never right is it? i need to just GO. currently on Expedia researching tickets, brb.)
I had to break down this shoot into three parts as opposed to posting it altogether. to me, it wouldn’t make sense that way. there’s a breakdown. tears were shed. because in order for a rebirth there must be a breakdown. in order for a rebirth something has to completely fall apart and in a way, ruin you. a pain. a hurt. something pivotal that uproots your everything rendering you helpless. broken. nothing. I looked at liz at one point and said “show me what you’re feeling. in this moment. this now” and before she could even give it to me, my jaw started to tremble. this is the kind of shoot my heart needed.
liz- your vulnerability, your openness, your ability to just be raw with me this day and in this moment… you have no idea what was going on in my head in this exact moment, but you delivered what I was feeling. more so, what I was needing and needing to believe in. you showed me that we must find the strength within ourselves, no matter how painful it is, to persist. to grow. to rise. to navigate through our pain. pain can be unbearable. impossible to live through + to carry. in our time together, you tried to show me that no matter what hell we are going through, we must keep going. we have to believe that somehow, some way, it will get better.
[currently spinning : “it’s happening again” - agnes obel”]
